In my years as an executive coach and professor of business, having worked with thousands of people—particularly ambitious, high-achieving women—I’ve learned this: the biggest challenge leaders face is not a lack of desire, talent, or capability. It is not a question of potential. Many have invested in themselves, pursued advanced education, upskilled, and followed what they believed to be the "right" steps. Yet something still feels misaligned.
Over the years, I’ve worked closely with women executives in international organizations who entered the field with a deep desire to make an impact. Many got into international development because they wanted to change the world. Yet, years later, they arrive at my doorstep exhausted, disillusioned, and disconnected—not only from their work, but from themselves. They’re navigating daily politics, burnout, stalled promotions, and a constant fight to be seen. And despite how far they’ve come, they feel stuck and long for something more meaningful.
It’s bothered me for years. These are some of the most brilliant, credentialed women I know. So why the gap between their hard work, long hours, and tireless effort, and the fulfillment and impact they so deeply desire?
After coaching and reflecting for years—both through my lens as a coach and a sociologist—I’ve come to understand that this challenge is twofold: lack of clarity, and a disempowered relationship with time and timing.
Part I: Clarity as the Compass
Many of us pursue careers and build businesses based on what society defines as success: a linear path, with clearly defined milestones—job titles, salaries, home ownership, promotions. We chase the vision handed to us rather than one we define for ourselves.
But fulfillment requires intentional clarity. It requires asking:
- What does success mean to me?
- What kind of life and legacy am I actually building?
- Am I working from a strategy that aligns with my unique values, skills, and desires—or one I inherited from external expectations?
Too often, I’ve seen brilliant women follow the status quo—rushing to climb the career ladder and feeling pressured to pursue leadership roles, especially managerial ones, simply because society says it’s the natural next step after a few years in a role. But many take on these responsibilities before ever asking themselves if it’s what they truly want. The truth is, some people enjoy working with colleagues but don’t want the weight of people management—and that’s completely valid. It’s okay if leading teams isn’t your thing, especially if you thrive in deep, independent, intellectual work. Clarity is what gives us permission to claim our lane—and own it. Whether you choose to follow traditional expectations or forge your own path, the key is ensuring your decisions are in alignment with who you are.
Clarity begins with self-awareness—an honest understanding of your strengths, superpowers, desires, and truth. It’s the foundation for building a career strategy that reflects you, not a one-size-fits-all blueprint shaped by societal expectations. When you’re clear about who you are and what you truly want, you stop performing success and start living it. That clarity becomes your compass, allowing you to pursue opportunities that align with your values—and build a career that feels both strategic and fulfilling.
Part II: Time and Timing as Sacred Tools
If clarity is the compass, then time is the terrain—and how we move across it determines whether we feel in control or constantly behind. One of the most overlooked truths in leadership, career building, and life design is this: our relationship with time must be transformed from reactive to intentional.
For too many high-achieving women, time feels like a tyrant—something that controls us, races ahead of us, or reminds us of what we haven’t yet accomplished. This relationship is rooted in external pressure: the timelines society gives us, the milestones we’re told to hit by a certain age, and the belief that we must constantly be doing, producing, and achieving.
But what if we reclaimed time as a sacred tool, not a source of anxiety?
Many of us haven’t been taught to think about time intentionally. We plan for others. We meet deadlines. We show up. But we rarely pause to plan for ourselves and ask:
- What season of life am I in?
- What timing is right for which goals?
- Am I making strategic use of my time to build toward a life that aligns with who I am becoming?
What I’ve learned through years of coaching brilliant women—especially those approaching mid-career or mid-life—is that our struggle isn’t with time itself. It’s with how we relate to time. We don’t always pause to define what matters most in a given season. We don’t ask what this moment in our lives is calling us toward. Instead, we default to what’s urgent or expected. And without intentionality, time fills itself—with obligations, with shoulds, with everyone else’s priorities but our own.
There is also the deeper issue of timing—and knowing when the right moment has arrived to act, pivot, or pause. Sometimes we carry powerful visions, business ideas, or personal callings within us for years. But we delay, not because the desire isn’t real, but because the timing doesn’t align with the resources, energy, or clarity we need to move. The danger isn’t in waiting. The danger is in never revisiting that dream again.
That’s why a healthy relationship with time requires both discipline and discernment. We must learn to track, honor, and direct our time. Not just through productivity tools and calendars, but through meaningful rituals: monthly check-ins, quarterly strategy reviews, weekly planning with intention. These practices help us examine how we’re spending our days—and whether that use of time is moving us closer to the lives and legacies we’re called to build.
We cannot wait for clarity to appear "someday.” We must create space for it in time. That means carving out moments of solitude, reflection, and stillness. It means distinguishing what’s urgent from what’s important. And it means getting radically honest about how time is either supporting—or suffocating—the vision we have for our lives.
Time is not our enemy. Time is our partner. And when used intentionally, it becomes a sacred tool for fulfillment.
Part III: Strategies for Clarity, Time, and Fulfillment
In all the work I do—whether in coaching, teaching, speaking, or writing—my deepest commitment is to help leaders, particularly women leaders, understand this essential truth: it is never too late to begin again.
It is never too late to build a life that looks and feels like you.
It is never too late to reclaim your voice, your time, your rhythm.
It is never too late to move from burnout to alignment, from confusion to clarity, from mere success to true fulfillment.
Too often, we wait for the "right” time or a permission slip from the world to begin living differently. But clarity, fulfillment, and intentional time use do not happen by accident. They require action. And more importantly, they require practice.
In my work, we define practices as:
"Who and what we become in life, including in its different seasons, is not an accident, it is not a miracle, and it is certainly not luck. It is what we practice—the habits we form, the actions we take, and the processes we choose to follow.”
This final section offers a set of practices and strategies to help you embody clarity, build a healthier relationship with time, and move in the direction of a life that is aligned with your purpose and truth. If you’re ready to embark on that journey—if you’re ready to reclaim who you are, how you live, and how you lead—start here.
These aren’t quick fixes. They’re intentional steps. Steps that, when repeated, create the path.
Here are three key practices to reclaim your clarity and time:
1. Clarity through Reflection and Solitude
- Build intentional moments of stillness into your calendar.
- Use reflection prompts to revisit your purpose, values, and vision.
- Ask yourself quarterly: What does fulfillment look like for me right now?
2. Time Tracking and Energy Audits
- Track your hours for one week. Where is your time actually going?
- Identify high-impact vs. low-impact activities.
- Align your schedule with your clarity—not with societal expectations.
3. Strategic Planning with Seasons in Mind
- Use quarterly planning to identify focus areas that reflect the season of life you’re in.
- Understand what’s realistic now, and what needs to be prepared for later.
- Create a roadmap with checkpoints—not just goals.
Don’t just manage your time—own it. Don’t just chase success—define it.
Follow the clarity. It’s your most powerful compass.
